Why I LOVE Men’s Health Magazine…or ‘Scuse Me While I Kiss Some Ass.

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Generally, I HATE checking my mailbox.  Like many people my age (25-eligible to run for POTUS,) it’s an amalgam of student loan bills, shitty coupon mailers, vouchers for free e-cigs, and bills from my other student loans from another lender.  The once-monthly bright spot, however, is the aforementioned publication, which has been a part of my life since high school, which is about the same time I made the permanent switch to boxer-briefs.  There are a bevy of reasons that I’ve kept up with MH all of my adult life, and here are a few that have made me continually plop down the twenty-or-so dollars every other year for the pleasure.

  1. They Focus on Both the Art & Science of Being a Man
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Pictured:  August 2016’s Front/Back Cover Men and the Stars of the Next Batman & Robin Movie

Men’s Health does the best job of any magazine of combining the health and fitness advice of Muscle & Fitness and other bodybuilding magazines (without the roided-out cover models and articles on how to “improve your pump,”) and producing excellent content on style, nutrition, sex, and humor.  MH is the best at tackling men’s issues seriously yet simultaneously tongue-in-cheek without looking or sounding like one of those hacky sitcoms or TV commercials which treat men’s lifestyles as if it were written by hormonal fourteen year-olds. The MH staff also is heavily staffed by physicians, nutritionists and dietitians, trainers, and a host of experts in just about every field imaginable, which guarantee you’re getting advice from people who know their shit and not a bunch of knuckleheads spouting barstool hearsay.

2.  Their Take on Style is, Dare I Say, Better Than GQ (and more affordably priced)

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Three outta four ain’t bad

While some men’s magazines feature ridiculously-priced and more ridiculously-looking items in their pages, Men’s Health knows that their readership isn’t quite in the Gordon Gekko echelons of annual income and that no one should pay $700 for this.  They also know that the men (and women) who read Men’s Health want to look stylish and turn heads without looking like Lapo Elkann everywhere they go.  Sure, a lime green suit is fine every once in a while, but most of us just want to look stylish without being mistaken for a pickup artist on the prowl.

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MAXIM subscribers, all of them

3.  Three Words:  Useful, Practical Advice

Whether it’s excellent fitness tips, brilliant and insightful looks at some of life’s biggest challenges, or the oddly specific percentage of women who enjoy giving oral, MH has pretty much every base covered when it comes to letting us know what we need to know as men.  While Golf Digest may teach you how to shave three strokes off of your game, Men’s Health will do that, and also show you how golf can improve your cardiovascular health, warn you of the dangers of extended stay in the sun, and how to look good sinking the ball on the 18th hole.  If you had to pick one publication that picked the best to offer of every men’s magazine currently on the presses, it’d be this one.  I’m not only saying this because I would love a free lifetime subscription, but because I truly take great pleasure in flipping every damn page of every damn issue, and I don’t need or want to read an article telling me how sad a chef is that his restaurant has been downgraded from five stars to four stars in the Michelin Guide Book.  I’d rather read an article on how Jim from The Office got ripped.

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MannerJax is dedicated to getting American men to dress better, learn cool new things, and sucking up to get free magazine subscriptions.

 

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