It’s August and I Live in Florida…So Why Am I Still Wearing Black?

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Full Disclosure:  This is not a long-winded diatribe dedicated to beautifully and in great detail elucidating a personal fashion choice despite certain meteorological difficulties.  Rather, this is a concise list of the reasons I give when people ask me ad nauseum why i opt for the coolest (though not temperature-wise) of colors.

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  1. It Looks Awesome
  2. My Sweat Doesn’t Show Up As Badly As With Other Colors
  3. It Really IS Slimming
  4. It Matches Literally Every Item In My Collection
  5. Ten Thousand Rock Stars Can’t Be Wrong
  6. It’s Great For Increasing My Confidence
  7. Because This Movie Wouldn’t Have Been As Iconic or Influential With Mastroianni in Powder Blue Leisurewear
  8. Men in Teal, Back in Brown, and Green Widow Just Don’t Have The Same Effect
  9. I’m a Grown-Ass Man, and I Can Wear Any Bloody Color I Please

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