Bob Ross: Television’s Answer to Ambien

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For those of us whose televisions sometime make their way to PBS, the sight of “The Joy of Painting” is a mainstay of public television and its late, Afro-endowed host, Bob Ross, has entered into pop culture lore known for his various isms as much as for his ability as a painter.  The man who gave us happy little bushes for years and years lent his velvet, Zen-like voice to the tree-and-mountain endowed landscapes also had a corollary talent which complemented his artistry:  THE MAN COULD PUT A GODDAMN SPEED FREAK TO SLEEP.

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If you are unfortunate to suffer from insomnia (whether occasional or chronic,) you know that it is handy to have your go-to sleep aids:  Drugs, booze, hypnosis/meditation, or D)….all of the above.  You also know that sometimes nothing works.  NOTHING.

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There is, however, sometimes a shining beacon of hope; a saviour sent to slay the demon that is insomnia.  An assassin sent to put a bullet in the head of clock-staring.  For me, it was good ol’ Bob Ross.  His brush and pallet were his sword and shield; his aforementioned manfro  adorning his head like a Centurion’s helmet.  By the time he’s adding highlights to a non-existent Yukon cabin, your eyes are glazed over and by the time his painting is signed, you’re dead to the world.

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Cue “The Sound of Silence”

While one must use caution not to get addicted to a man painting winterscapes (as this can be an embarrassing and isolating habit,) responsible use has thus far proven to be both controlled and effective in treating at least one case of insomnia.

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