Mass Costs Money: How I’m Gaining Back 15 Lbs Of Muscle On A Budget

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Four months ago, I was laid off from my awesome job in Advertising, complete with a sixteenth-floor view overlooking downtown Jacksonville and all the Keurig coffee I could drink.  Since then, I’ve lost between fifteen and twenty pounds.  I know what you’re thinking, “if only,” or, “I bet a lot of people would love to lose that much weight in that amount of time.”  Fair enough; I get it.  The point is that I wasn’t trying to lose any weight.  Worst case scenario, I wanted to maintain my normal weight that rarely extended beyond the 195 to 200-pound range that I’ve maintain for the better part of the past fifteen years.  I was perfectly happy with my weight, muscle mass, and body fat percentage.

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Fast forward to today, and I’ve begun to hear from the people around me that I’m looking…”skinny.”  The kiss of death for men.  Again, I can audibly hear the eye rolls and people telling me to shut the fuck up and stop complaining and I totally have that coming.  The problem is that when I lose weight, that hard-fought muscle ass that I spent years putting on is always the first thing to go, resulting in my arms being  a shadow of their former glory, my legs looking like skinny, pale shanks, and my formerly round derrierre reverting to pancake status.  Hank Hill, diminished-glute territory is not far.

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So, in an effort to gain back some weigh without going into the red, here is a list of some of the things I make sure to have in the house that won’t require a Visa Black Card:

  1. Eggs
  2. Greek Yoghurt
  3. Whole Wheat/Whole Grain Breads
  4. Bananas
  5. Cottage Cheese
  6. Spinach
  7. Beets
  8. Reduced-Fat Shredded Cheese
  9. Avocados
  10. Lean Ground and Sliced Turkey
  11. Strawberries
  12. Blueberries

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This is not a definitive list, as a big problem that led to my muscles atrophying is simply not eating enough, which was NEVER a problem in the past.  I’m giving myself a goal of fifteen pounds in three months, so we’ll see how things have progressed by Christmastime.

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